He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
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