xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Randomize