Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize