Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Randomize