You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
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