Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
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