My sheets look like a crime scene.
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Randomize