i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Randomize