I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize