These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Randomize