Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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