At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
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It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
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Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
I have tasted many bathrooms
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
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