Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Randomize