saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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