yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
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