My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
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Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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