one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
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