I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
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