no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
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