Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
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