They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
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