he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
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