please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
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I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
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