Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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