dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
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Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
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she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
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