I wish I could teleport
I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
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