i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
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