The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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