Have you finally orgasmed yet?
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
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So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
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