I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
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