dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
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