hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Randomize