if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
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