Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize