so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize