How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Randomize