Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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