How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize