"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is the prime rib incident all over again
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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