I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
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