I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
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