I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
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all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
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