forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
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