Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
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