Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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