I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
She bit a glass in half.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
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