checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Randomize