they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
There r osticjed everywhere
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Randomize