Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
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Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
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