A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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